Recently I was asked by the fabulous ladies of Simple Simon & Co. one simple question. What do you wish you had known when you started sewing? I thought about this for a while, because really we learn so many things along the way. Things that make you bang your head and say, why didn’t I know that before? Like when I learned about using a safety pin for turning fabric tubes. It was truly a lightbulb moment for me. Or how to sew knits so that they don’t get wavy seams, changed my sewing life.
But what do I really wish someone had told me, what do I wish I had known known deep down in my core before I started sewing?
It doesn’t have to be perfect. And that’s ok.
We here at the Sewing Rabbit believe that everyone can sew, truly. If only they would try.
I started sewing when I was 9 years old, embroidery and cross stitching. My Mom would buy me the little kits and I would spend hours picking out the different floss colors. I loved it. I didn’t start sewing apparel until after my first daughter was born, more than 7 years ago. At first I couldn’t even sew a straight line on the machine without the thread getting all bunched up. My Mom ended up flying out to Germany just to show me how to properly thread my machine. Once I knew that, it was game over. (BTW – Need to know how to thread your sewing machine? Try this tutorial by Tilly and the Buttons.) I worked my way through German patterns, googling translations, googling sewing terminology (what is a gathering stitch?), googling just about everything to try to figure it out. I sewed every day the second my newborn daughter went to sleep, and pushed that cheap entry level sewing machine to the limits until the moment she would wake up. It was a love affair, and I was determined to get it right.
But I wish someone had told me it didn’t need to be perfect.
I used to compare my kids handmade outfits with store-bought clothing and always ended up feeling ‘less than’. Their seams were always perfect, how did they get that beautiful inside stitch? The hems were always straight, nothing looked wonky, the fit was usually better, everything lined up perfectly. And to make matters worse, the store bought version usually cost less too.
What was I doing wrong? Why did I bother? I always felt like a failure when I would bring my daughter to the playground in something I made and someone would ask if it was handmade. Yes, yes it is. How could you tell? In fact – my self esteem over my handmade creations was so low, that I stopped seeing the compliments people were trying to give me. If someone complimented something I made, I started pointing out all of its faults to them. I could’t just say ‘thank you’. I felt compelled to point out the uneven hem, or the buttons that didn’t quite match up. This person who didn’t seem my mistakes in the first place, who was truly just impressed that I had sewn something, walked away knowing all of my faults as a seamstress.
I realized something one day that changed everything. My daughter, the person I was sewing all of these outfits for. She LOVED them. She truly didn’t see anything wrong in a single thing I made for her. All she knew was that Mommy made it…for HER. And she felt so special and loved and could’t wait to put it on and wear it proudly. When people would stop her on the street and tell her how beautiful she looked, she would immediately respond with, ‘Thanks! My Mommy made my dress.’. It wasn’t until that moment that I started beaming with pride. Not because I made the dress, but because my daughter was proud of me.
In her eyes, it was perfect.
I am still not as good as the store-bought clothing, even to this day. They will always have nicer finished seams, cost cheaper if bought at Target, and take way less time. But there is one thing that store bought clothing can never do.
They can never emit a sense of pride or love. When someone asks me now where I got my outfit, I smile widely and say I made it – THANK YOU. And that’s it.
I guarantee it has flaws, I don’t need to point them out. I guarantee that there is something I probably still want to change / fix on it. That’s ok. And I guarantee I know what I will change or do if I make another one – and thats great because I am still learning. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and thats ok.
Perfection, like beauty, is all in the eye of the beholder. What you make, what you create, regardless of flaws…is perfect. You handmade something from scratch, I mean – how awesome is that?!! So don’t be so hard on yourself, don’t compare yourself to the seamstress who has been doing it for a lifetime, or worse – the factory version. Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20.
If you are looking for some good beginners sewing resources, try these…
And be sure to stop by Simple Simon & Co. for more tips from fellow bloggers and seamstresses, and hear what they wish they had known when they started sewing!
Just know – you are awesome. And what you make is awesome.
So don’t be so hard on yourself! As always, thanks so much for stopping by, and until next time…
Happy Sewing!
Pfff… I loved to read it. I started sewing for myself nearly 10 years ago. Although my clothes having faults I was able to participate in two common fashion shows and had a couple of my onw only. But I was never confident enough. I was even asked to move to the capital, someone had interest in launching me as a designer, but I felt unworthy of it. I think of that often nowadays, but that can’t be changed. I am a proud seamstress now, I have learnt much since then, and still learning. Always!
I am always amazed as we look back on our life – and the things we learn along the way. The opportunities we took or turned down, where that led us. And everything that happened because of that path taken. I have had similar experiences in my past – where I still to this day wonder…….but then I remember that I would ‘t be where I am now if I had gone down the other road. Life is funny like that 🙂
Thanks for this post Jess. I’m just getting past the ‘need to point out the flaws’ stage. I can’t even explain why I love to sew stuff but I do know it makes me happy 🙂
That is so wonderful to hear Renee!!! Sewing gives me such joy, and I love hearing that it does the same for others!
I went to an exhibit recently that showcased some of Grace Kelly’s finest garments and as I was walking through the rooms, I couldn’t help but notice how handmade the garments looked, but also how beautiful they were. In my opinion, garments that are handmade don’t look over pressed like they do when they come from factories, and the fresh fabric is more supple than fabric that’s been smooshed and shipped in a cardboard box. There’s a different beauty in handmade garments, and the slightly uneven seams and topstitching are a part of that. It’s a quirk just like Cindy Crawford’s mole.
I never even thought about it that way – but I love this perspective. That must have been an amazing experience, to be able to see some original clothing from a fashion icon like Gracy Kelly. Amazing.
Lovely thoughts, thanks my dear!
Thank YOU!!!!
Great post! I feel like I’m chanting “it doesn’t have to be perfect!” to myself as I’m sewing. But its nice that I’m getting better the more I learn.
I wish I had known how to properly use bias tape- I love it now!
And to do a French seam.
And the Turn-it-all (Bow Whip) that I just got for Christmas is the coolest sewing gadget I’ve ever seen. No more safety pin tube turning for me!
Turn-it-all Bow Whip WHAT?!! What magic is this of which you speak??? Must look into it NOW!
Has it changed your life yet?!
I have been out of town just getting back into the office this morning….I will let you know soon. HA!
I have a hard time with the perfection thing! It seems like everything that I make I pick it apart, My husband is always telling me I am to hard on myself. Great advice, thanks for the post!
Listen to your husband!! Sometimes they are right….sometimes. ha!
I love to sew for the kiddos, I just can’t get over the fact that it costs more to make it then to buy it. I can’t bring myself to spend $10/yard on some decent cotton to make a simple summer dress when I can get it already done at target for $5 bucks. I still do love to sew….. I’m an artist and fabric is my paint. (Also, I wish i would have known how important pressing while working a project, so many of them would have turned out really nice if I would have just pulled out the iron more).
And the thing you didn’t mention is that each garment or item that you make is “absolutely one of a kind” so it can’t be compared to any other one.
I have been sewing about 65 years and not matter what else everything I have made is an “Original”.