About 4 months ago I challenged myself to go through all of the I AM‘s of the bible. We know God is the great I am, this is what He calls himself when talking to Moses. God is whatever He needs to be in your present circumstance and beyond. There is no one word that can describe Him, He is, was, and will be. But what many don’t realize is that God also tells us who WE ARE in the bible. We are all different, and God loves us all uniquely, but there are some truths in how He made us. You are no accident my friend, He knew you before you were formed.
Personally, I struggle with who society tells me I should be, or stumble on figuring out my purpose in this life. I realized this was because I didn’t fully understand who God made me to be. And in order to do that, I needed to dig in deep. So that is partly what I have been doing these past months. Forcing myself to be quiet and still, forcing myself to be WITH my family (not distracted), and trying to simply walk in the rhythms of grace.
Some people seem naturally confident. I am not one of those people, I wish I was. But I am learning.
I realized part of the problem was in not having a Father who loved me, or saw me as his daughter growing up. Please do not take this the wrong way, I am not throwing a pity party or claiming I had it bad. My Stepfather took care of me the best way he knew how, and I was always well provided for. We had our issues, but I always had a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food on the table. But love? I had to get a double dose helping of that from my Mom. She was so strong, always putting on the hat of both Mother and Father for me and my sister. She was the arms that hugged me when I fell down, and the mouth that disciplined me when I got in trouble. I respect her more than she will ever know. But something happens to a girl when she doesn’t understand what a Father’s love feels like. We look for it in other places, seeking affirmation in what are usually unhealthy ways. I was always striving for acceptance, seeking to be liked, wanting to be loved. But never quite felt like I fit in.
When you don’t know what the love of an earthly father feels like, it is hard to understand what the love of our heavenly father feels like.
I needed this. I needed to realize that God loves me, and know what a fatherly love feels like. I needed to understand how to be a daughter, so that I could be a better Mom.
I started to write down everything I would come across in my bible reading about who God said I was. I researched on the internet and pulled up lists other people had compiled. And as the pages grew, so did my understanding. These truths are how God sees me. Not the lies I tell myself. He doesn’t hold back His love until I reach the vision of my future self (the funnier, better looking, good deeds version of me). This is how He has always seen me, and how He sees you.
Now as I pray every morning, I state out loud who God says I am. I repeat it every morning, at least the ones I remember off the top of my head, and I ask Him to write them on my heart.
I pray as if God is sitting right next to me, I picture Him in my head sitting with me as I pray out loud – and that He is really HEARING my prayers. I am not just offering them up to some infinite in space, but to a Father and a friend who is sitting right next to me. I can feel His loving arms around me, and know He is there.
I am not going to say I have got it all together yet, I am still learning. But along the process of learning who God says I am and asking Him to write them on my heart, I am using my gifts the best way I know how. Making little things here and there that help to reaffirm these truths.
The I Am floral bible skirt is one of these creations. Using every bible verse I could find, I made a fabric inspired by this dress I made for my daughter.
I AM FLORAL BIBLE SKIRT
I know I am not alone in my search for understanding and worth. By reading through these versus, praying, and occasionally even wearing these affirmations in a way that reminds me every day how God sees me, I am writing a new song for myself. I have opened up a new shop, Made In Him Image Designs, where I will be putting some of my creations. Some finished products, some sewing kits, some printables, and more.
The I Am Bible Skirt is a sewing kit. I felt it important to keep this product as a maker kit, for part of the beauty in it is in the process of creation, not just the finished product. Reading through these verses, and even praying over your skirt as you are making it, can be a healing balm for your heart.
I wish I could bring the cost down, but unless I order a million of them and purchase custom fabric from overseas…this is just the way it is. Trust me when I say, I am not making bank on them – lol. But I do truly believe that for the right person, this is a gift that can be immeasurable in price. Which is why I felt it worth the time and effort to put in the work to make them available to anyone else that might be creative like me, and perhaps struggling with feeling loved.
You are not alone. Not only have I been there (and still fall in the same, stupid pit from time to time), but I would venture to bet that half of your friends feel the same thoughts on a daily basis.
You are greatly loved.
Thanks so much for stopping by, and until next time…